That's what friends are for

5th grade boy: "Who was that president that ended with NIXON?"

Friend: "President Nixon?"

First boy "Yea! That's it!"

That's what friends are for!

Literally

"Mrs Y I think Jessica's hurt.  She's crying really hard."  I found Jessica and she was indeed crying really hard - that kind  of crying that makes it hard to speak.  Trying to assess what was wrong, I asked her why she was crying and had to strain to understand her as she sputtered out "My friend said something I hate". Assuming  she had heard something like " You're  not my friend" or "I don't like you" I said "Oh my goodness it looks like she really hurt your feelings.  What did she say?" I'm certain I didn't hide my surprise (or probably my smirk) when her answer was "smoked salmon" because she went on to explain, between sobs, "I hate sea food".


Really???

Allergies

One of our 4th grade girls walked into class holding an ice pack to her eye.  When I asked what happened she explained she has allergies. I asked what she was allergic to and she responded "pollen .... and  (giggling and not missing a beat) BOYS!"

Pretty sure antihistamine can help with the first.  The second, however, will just take time!

Ground Hog's Day?

The sun was out for the first time in weeks and a little girl ran out to recess, spread her arms out and shouted "I can see my shadow!"


Who needs Puxatony  Phil??

BxH/2

We were going over the 4th graders' homework which had to do with finding the area of a triangle.  One boy got all the problems wrong and realized though he had multiplied base times height, he forgot to divide by 2 - not an uncommon mistake.  We moved on, had the rest of the class and I thought all was well until I heard him say to his friend as  they were leaving : "triangles are stupid".

I just hope years from now he remembers the origin of his strong aversion to all things 3 sided!

Real Housewives

Two fourth grade girls end an argument with one huffing off and the other calling after her "  you know - honest women never have to hide".


Makes me wonder if that second girls' future is that of a screen writer? An author?  A Real Housewife of _______?

Oops

Mediating a kindergarten dispute today:
Boy#1 - He told me to shut up
Boy#2 - I did not!  OK - yes I did, but it doesn't count because I didn't mean to.  It just fell out of my mouth.


Oh, if only the things that fall our of our mouths didn't count!

Lady Gaga

When choosing a name, I bet Lady Gaga didn't think about the fact that her name would make a perfect elementary school playground insult.  Apparently it does.