No further questions, your Honor

Several of Nate's kindergarten friends came to me upset that "someone" had sat on him - though there was disagreement over who exactly that was.  I decided to check with Nate himself, who was apparently unfazed by the incident and was happily playing tag.  When I stopped him to ask who sat on him, he called over his shoulder (as he ran off to continue his tag game): "I don't know.  I couldn't see.  Someone was sitting on me".

Quote of the day

Quote of the day (said after a pile fell from his desk): "I hate gravity".

Happiness is...

Happiness is having a toothless, smiling 6 year old use his entire arm to wave to me.

Excuse me??

I was teaching a new reading game to a group of Kindergartners when one little boy casually mentioned: "Ty and I don't need the directions".  I assumed they had already played this particular game and went on to finish my explanation to the rest of the group when I heard him add: "cause we're boys".

Proof that the fact men don't ask for/read directions is biological?  Perhaps.

Mom voice

Kids were having a hard time settling down during math.  I used my "mom voice".  They settled down.

Boys can be pretty predictable sometimes

The Museum of Flight came to school today to put on an assembly.  When I asked my 5th grade math class how it was, one of the boys asked if I wanted to hear a joke he made up at the assembly. My mind quickly began racing ... but it wasn't until he said "I'm not sure if it's appropriate or not, but it's really funny" that I nailed the punch line - before he even got the joke out.

Yes - it was Uranus. I love being the mother of boys.

Yep - took the easy way out

From a group of grinning Kindergarten boys: 
"Mrs. Y - what do you think this is?  Just a big leaf pile or a girl catcher?"
I knew darn well what it was, but went with "wow that's a great leaf pile"

Like the blind leading the blind

Cutest thing ever - one kindergartner helping another kindergartner zip his coat.  Took most of recess but they stuck with it. Not sure what they learned in class, but no doubt they both learned something about friendship at school today.

Why, of course

Asked a group of bare foot kids why they weren't wearing shoes. 
Their answer: "We just had music"
 Implied: "Duh"
Fairly certain most things a Kindergarten boy draws will look like  a penis.
After giving some Kindergartners a task, I noticed one just sitting, staring into space.  I asked him what was wrong, and he replied "Nothing.  I'm just rebooting my brain". Sure enough, about a minute later he was actively engaged in the task at hand.

Note to self - sometimes it's OK to stop and reboot.
Sweet 2nd grade girl decked out in pink comes up to me and says "I'm Astro Girl!  My power comes from my butt!!"  Thank goodness as I was trying to figure out what one says to that, she flew off to fight evil.
Making small talk as I patched up a scraped knee from a fall off the swings, I asked what happened.  Still trying to make sense of it herself, the first grader shook her head and said "I don't know- the ground just came up too fast..."

Read a math problem straight from the book today - had to do with Hank Aaron's RBI stats.  Kids had no idea who he was... One asked "why don't they do Barry Bonds?"  I almost told them, then remembered this was math class - not ethics.
Kindergarten teacher was filling me in on one of her students today - "he has a tendency to tease".  Overhearing this, one of his classmates decided to fill me in as well - "he also has a tendency to punch".

Now I know.
Wasn't  quite sure what he was saying through the sobs, but it sounded like "forgot to duck" - then saw the bump on his head growing as we spoke, so sent him to the nurse with no further questions.  Never did find out the whole story...
Two first grade boys...

"I'll race you to that yellow thing" (pointing across the playfield)
As they take off running I hear:
 "Wait!  Which yellow thing?"
"The white one!"

 I think the second guy may still be trying to figure where they're racing to.
Trying to figure out where the downed soccer player was hurt, I asked his friend what he hit (meaning his arm?  head? elbow?...) I guess what should have been the obvious reply came: "the ground".

Walked right into that one...
Asked a sad looking girl, standing in the rain holding her coat, what was wrong.  "My coat is full of wet".
5th grade girl trying to get the point across to her friend about just how ugly the neon pink jacket was that her mother wanted her to get:  "No - you don't understand.  This was "stick out in the crowd" pink..." 

Wanted so badly to tell her my hope is that someday soon she'll WANT to stick out in the crowd!
Kindergarten boy (about his 2nd grade sister): "Mrs. Y!  My friends are chasing my sister and I don't like it!"
Me: "How does SHE feel about it?"
Boy: "She likes it"

Haha! Poor kid - pretty sure this wasn't the last time he'll be having this conversation.
Said in the most adorable and innocent Kindergarten voice after a friend was mean to him:  "Danny isn't bad.  He just forgets to be good sometimes."  

Don't we all?  And don't we all wish our friends could always be this forgiving?
"Chasing boys makes you thirsty!"
(Sounds more like a Bud Lite commercial than an 8 year old's playground request to use the drinking fountain...)
"He thinks he's boss of the sand box, but there IS no boss of the sand box.  I wish there was though, because then I could fire him."  Love that kid's logic!
Same small group of Kindergartners pulled out of class for a 20 minute friendship/anger management session.  One little guy says to me: "Mrs Y - can we keep this short today?"  Thinking he was missing snack or "choice time" I answered "We won't be too long. What are you missing when we're out here?".  I feel bad that I laughed out loud when his answer was "my girlfriend".   Ah- to be 5.
Mrs. Y - I have milk in my shoes.  And it's uncomfortable.
I  was doing a little anger management class with some Kindergartners today.  I asked "What is something, or someone or some place that makes you feel CALM?"  Answers included:
"my stuffed bear" (aww -I get that!)
"my mom" (so sweet!)
"reading in my bed" (atta boy!)
"diving into water" (creative - love it!)
"McDonalds" ( wait... what???!)
Asked a sweet Kindergartner (aren't they all, though?) how his day was. "Great!" he answered.  "I haven't punched anyone today." 

 I think I'm going to start using that as my benchmark.
I could not make this stuff up!
"Mrs. Y. come quick - Mary fell backwards"
"What happened?!"
"She told me she could walk backwards better than me ------- she was wrong"
Thought the little guy on the playground was being unkind when he told me Madison had lost her marbles until I investigated further. She had indeed lost her marbles.  All of them.  Rolled right under the fence.
I had to bite my tongue on this one:
"Mrs. Y - we're playing cats and dogs and I'm a cat and now they won't let me in the sandbox."  

(TRUTH - I wanted to high five the kids in the sandbox)